A Playful Misconception, A Childhood's Dream

It’s already August. Time flew by once again and soon this year will end. Have we slowed down and tasted our fears, smelled our success and bathed in the glory of life?

Or did we fumble through silly mistakes without the awareness? Did we turn and take flight away from challenges that came our way? Did we refuse to grow?

And did we make sure that we acknowledged what we are grateful for?

I’m grateful for new friendships – New connections don’t come easy if they are great connections. They have added new values into my life, new lessons to my experiences, and new meaningful conversations to what is already; and started as; a great new day.

I’m grateful for my new promotion a few weeks ago – I haven’t told anyone except two friends. I have been trying to avoid it in conversations because I’ve been feeling the pressure and I’m afraid of it. So much so that I think it’s causing me to wake up very early in the morning and denied me anymore slumber. I’m also feeling unworthy for such a position as I haven’t had so much responsibility before. Selva last week reminded me that this is because I’m just new in this role, so how could I? Thanks, Selva. It’s what I do from now that matters.

I’m grateful for my increasing waistline – It’s a celebration of growth. It gives me a new purpose, which is to reduce it. I’ve been doing a lot of cardio exercises the past few days and I feel great about it.

I’m grateful for old friendships and laughter – Old friends who are always there for me even though it’s been months since I’ve seen any of them. Having a songkai dinner yesterday felt like we’ve never missed a beat. And watching how laughter spread from one to another, one instigator to another; these fleeting moments are so precious. I am really appreciating it now. And how moving it feels.

I’m grateful for all the “should have’s” that I’ve come to realise – Everyday I’m stopping myself to the usage of the word “should” because simply put, there is no such thing as “should”. But each time it pops up, in whatever context, I know I’m learning from and through it.

I’m grateful for technology – How it has filled so many gaps and increased connectivity. How it has made the impossible in the past possible in the present. And I’m grateful for all the promises that it will bring to the future. But I’m also aware of the detriments that come with it. How it should never substitute the human touch and eye to eye contact.

I’m grateful for another Monday morning. I’ve slowed down so that I can relate to my heart now. So that I’m not running on empty. So that I truly belong here in the moment.

And I’m grateful for Erin McCarley’s Lovesick Mistake serenading in the background as I composed this start of a Monday morning, and it has inspired some of the lines above.

So let’s not fumble through the heartaches but really relate to them and just bask in the now-ness of it all. It’s ours to feel and no one can steal it away from us but ourselves. And because nothing lasts forever. Absolutely nothing.

What are you grateful for?