A Playful Misconception, A Childhood’s Dream

CNY is less than a week away. And I’m so busy with work now, with a presentation looming over me and many problems to solve. I have made another mistake, but I’m learning fast.

I am fearful of the steps ahead as I still have no clear direction just now. But “face the fear, and it will disappear.” I see admitting the fear as the first step to facing it. The challenge is mine and mine alone. To rise above it is my responsibility to myself. It’s my responsibility to set myself free.

“This year, I resolve to Be Love, to be Fulfilled in Every Now Moment, to strengthen the telling of my appreciation for others, and to make a kick ass new record in the process, inspiring others to be up to big things. This year, You Rule and I bow in your Gracious Presence, Child of Earth, Brother and Sister of Mine. ” – Jason Mraz

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Probably The Rock’s worst acting gig. Every time he smiled, I cringed. His fake, sweet smiles were just too obvious.

But the movie has a few big names to support it, including Ashley Judd and Julie Andrews. Well, OK, who am I kidding? Both can probably be labeled as has-beens. But even so, they are definitely better than this movie.

One of the biggest issue suffered by the movie was the lack of continuity in a lot of places, making a lot of events unrealistic, even for a fantasy story. Especially the last act (spoiler alert but really now, who would consider this a spoiler?): How was everyone already in bed when Dwayne Johnson’s fairy visited the house and yet they still made it to the talent show in time? A kid’s talent show organised by the school would probably end at 9 or 10pm latest, so that means the whole family was in bed at 8 or 9pm? No, it’s unacceptable.

The writers were not to be blamed completely; the editing, especially all that closeups on the weird looking Stephen Merchant, were irritating and distracting. The direction by Michael Lembeck too felt like he just came out of Directing 101.

The best thing about the movie was Billy Crystal’s five minutes or less appearance. He has been out of the screen for years but he still got it. The worst thing about the movie was having Crystal in just that five minutes. It was almost a crime. I saw a glimpse of him in the outtake of the movie while the credits rolled but Seri Kiulap Cineplex has a knack for cutting off the credits and they did it again. Irritating and not to mention rude. We payed for the whole reel, didn’t we?

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I had to catch this while I was in Singapore last weekend, after knowing the fact that Brunei had decided to ban it. Not that I’m surprised, but wasn’t happy that they pulled it off one day before it was supposed to be shown.

Worse was, I could have watched so many other movies that were out in Singapore, like The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus or It’s Complicated. Because anything else (except Did You Know About The Morgans?) would have been better.

What killed this was the script, the dialogue. Everything uttered was either shit or close to shit. Again I had to wonder, who wrote those lines and thought they could get away with them. So after having a quick check on IMDb, Scott Stewart, writer and director of Legion, is another one of those visual effects guy jumping into a bigger, more important role that he just wasn’t capable of handling. (Reminds me so much of Eragon and realising that’s one movie I’ll never forgive. I pity the actors involved in that, especially Joss Stone.) Just like how I pity Dennis Quaid for his mentality of “just keep doing as many as one can because hey, something’s got to be good”.

The storytelling and the storyline were also shit. It’s just another way of making a zombie movie, and a bad one at that. So what if the special effects were good? Everything else wasn’t.

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Sometimes I try to be forgiving by checking back on what genre a movie was categorised in just in case by some unknown force that I should be wrong even when it was blatantly clear. Ten minutes into this one, I was contemplating on running into the next screen to watch Universal Soldier: Regeneration.

Throughout the hour and a half, I laughed twice, chuckled three times and smiled six times. But the fact that I bothered to count said it all.

Hugh Grant used to be charmingly funny. But he’s gone from that to weirdly eccentric. His jokes here were lame and unfunny. Most of the time they fell flat. It’s as if he couldn’t make it work. Sarah Jessica Parker cannot be the star of a movie outside Sex And The City, she just seemed to lack that likeability factor. And there were no chemistry at all between the pair. It started out with Grant looking overly weird and trying too hard, and they never looked like they just got separated three months ago.

The director was bad, the writing was bad; but in this case it was both counts to Marc Lawrence. Lawrence, who also wrote and directed Two Weeks Notice and Music And Lyrics; both of which showcased Grant in much better light, seemed to have lost that rapport with Grant. Or perhaps it’s Grant who’s getting old and redundant? But the editing was also appalling, so much so that the actors looked amateurish. Or perhaps this could be due to the shortcomings of Parker.

So, as a romantic comedy, there’s very little comedy and barely any romance. Fail on both counts.

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Something is wrong with Scrubs. They brought in new actors to play new characters but then they have the same personalities as the old ones. Why don’t the writers just write up new characters instead of having the new guy be another John C. McGinley’s Dr. Cox, the new girl be another Zach Braff’s John Dorian. Then there’s the not-so-new girl played by Eliza Coupe who didn’t quite resemble anyone until this season 9 when she becomes more and more like the weird hot chick that was Elliot, played by Sarah Chalke. Even the crazy younger Franco has certain qualities that remind of Donald Faison’s Turk. And then they left out the hottest new chick on the block, Nicky Whelan, to very minimal appearances. Wrong. Lucky for the series, the jokes are still hilarious.

As for Grey’s Anatomy, after five seasons the writers are still writing patients that come the same way – that is to deliver long, lengthy speeches and / or rambles whenever they needed to get their points across. After five seasons, guest actors who come in are like playing the same character but just in different bodies; very much like The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, where different actors needed to come in to play that one character left behind by Heath Ledger. But, even the core characters feel the same when they start to ramble. All the male characters talk like McDreamy and all the female characters talk like Meredith Grey. Plus the story revolving around Meredith Grey and her gang is just getting more and more bleah! Katherine Heigl should have just quit after leaving in the beginning of the season. It went downhill for her character when she started seeing a ghost. But recently, I’ve never given so many middle fingers to the screen in one sitting than watching this. Except maybe for Glee. Very wrong. Only Eric Dane and Chyler Leigh interest me at the moment.

Then theres House. Actually, even when House’s storyline got a bit bland, the direction it is headed (with the recent roster addition and subtraction) is still very watchable.

Private Practice, on the other hand, was never really big enough to make a difference.

I know I can stop anytime I want but after investing so many years on Grey’s Anatomy, it just seems like a waste to stop now. Super wrong.

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Definitely one of the better movies of last year. This dramatic thriller reminds of Saving Private Ryan, but on a much smaller scale.

The pacing could have been better and the movie shorter, but what it achieved overall successfully was to invoke the emotions of its audience from the inside. And this was due to its brilliant direction from Kathryn Bigelow and the cast. Even Guy Pearce’s 10 to 15 minutes screen time left a mark.

The movie has a lot of action and the editing was also brilliantly done. Bigelow has a talent for gluing our eyes to the screen.

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A look at the rich and spoilt of the 80s, with all the sex and drugs and music to fill their time. And a movie for those who enjoy watching people who are worse off than they are as the characters had too much time on their hands and unknowingly destroy their own lives.

It’s slow, inconsequential, no proper conclusion, characters were left hanging. Even though no fault came from the acting, but the only good thing about it honestly, was watching a naked Amber Heard parade across the screen from time to time.

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The collaboration between Jack Black and Michael Cera is bound to happen. Sadly they brought nothing new to their characters. Black played his silly but optimistic alter ego, while Cera was the obedient but stubborn and pessimistic one.

This must be the first time we have ever seen cavemen talked in the contemporary manner. The first half hour were filled with laughter as we were just got introduced to their world. But after that, things got a little tedious and familiar, and sometimes the silly just didn’t do it anymore.

But there were a lot of gags to keep the audience entertained. Some were laugh-out-loud funny while others were more of mild amusements. The story was the predictable kind and offered nothing new. There were also a lot of guest appearances to keep the entertainment level up, although none were more famous than the two leads.

Most importantly I think is the lesson that everyone can learn from Black. He was the hero of the tale only because of his undying ability to always see the bright side of things and his will to never give up. That’s how life should be led.

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